Positive Self Talk can radically change your eating and weight over time!

The way we think actually does run our behavior most of the time and we are not even aware of the thoughts that are driving our feeling and often our eating.

So becoming the observer of our thinking is critical to be free to behave in ways that build out lives up and not our weight!

Begin by noticing when you feel a lack of peace inside, or a sense of uneasiness.  This is the moment in time when you might think you want to eat so immediately ask yourself ....Am I even hungry?

Keep noticing your sense of uneasiness and ask yourself...

What could I be believing, feeling or needing?

There is a lot of information about this practice on the page in this site called  Intuitive Eating.

This page is about transforming your negative beliefs.

But first lets look at the common themes of thoughts/beliefs that come from what I call the EGO DECEIVER/TRICKSTER (or ED).

Here is a list of examples of how the Ego Deceiver operates in our minds.

1.    The ED always lies and tries to manipulate my thinking to believe “the story” as if it is who I am.

2.    The ED completely distorts reality and has an unlimited number of disguises.

3.    The ED hates and avoids change at all costs, it is driven by fear and desire for power or control.

4.    The ED likes everything to be thought of as black or white—all or nothing.

5.    The ED wants me to think I am worthless and powerless to change my life.

6.    The ED wants me to obey an unreasonable set of rules.

7.    The ED is repetitious, habitual and dull.

8.    The ED wants me to judge other people based on their behavior or appearance.

9.    The ED will use subtle messages or thoughts to enslave me in a behavior or feeling experience that shuts me down.

10. The ED loves to control me and make me feel obligated by using “ should” statements.

11. The ED knows exactly what buttons to push in me to disable me or lead me into old patterns of behavior

12. The ED is malicious, crass, nasty, sneaky and cunning.

13. Everything ED says sounds logical but is logically flawed and at best a half truth.

14. To agree with the ED is surrender to a force that wants to destroy your life and anyone else connected with you.

15. The ED wants me to get caught in an undertow of emotions, seemingly fighting myself around and around in circles.

16. The ED’s best weapons are secrecy and speed, I must expose it and slow it down.

17. The ED is like the wizard of Oz, a tiny old frightened thing trying to get me to believe it is larger than life and quite terrifying.

18. The ED uses illusion to put fear in the hearts and minds of those who are stronger than it is.

19. The ED wants to convince me that it’s cheap tricks are part of the real world.

20. The ED is a coward!  It loves hitting me when I am down.

21. The ED’s only purpose in life is to survive and dominate, it is actually terrified of annihilation, it doesn’t know it can be integrated into me and live as a messenger to me.

22. Most oftenI am not actively aware of the ED, I am automatically agreeing with it’s illusions.

23. I will anticipate times of stress because this is when the ED will try to regain a foothold as the ruler of my life and thoughts.

24. Guilt or shame is one of the ED’s tricks to keep me dependent upon the unrealistic expectations of other people or myself, the ED likes to “Should” on me.

25. The ED wants me to be resentful so that I will eventually cut off human support and caring that might expose the faulty EM thinking.

26. The ED is my worst enemy and wants me to miserable, that is when it knows it has power, my life force, it is like a leach or an alien suing my life energy to survive.

27. The ED likes to play it safe, the EM is gutless.

28. The ED tries to trick me by insisting that a low probability event has a good chance of happening

29. When I take risks, I challenge the ED, the ED wants me to be immobilized with fear.

30. To the ED, loss of control in running my life is equivalent to annihilation, it does not know that as it integrates into my higher self it can still have a life as my teacher.

Adapted by Mary Sue Abernethy, LMFT.--from the writings of Terence J. Sandbek, Ph.D.

Capture the negative self talk so you can first become aware of it and later translate it in to more powerful, positve self talk.

Check-in and ask yourself ......."What does my negative thought signal or symbolize, how is it serving me?”

Capture negative self talk by writing it down, put check marks next to it  to indicate how many times  you think it through the days and weeks- recording the frequency.

Check-in and ask yourself "what does my negative thought signal or symbolize"? 

Watch for words or phrases that are part of  "the lie" you believe from the ego deceiver such as: 

I should....

I shouldn't....

I ought to.....

I better not....

I must....

I must not…

From now on I'm not going to....

I know it's bad, but I.....

I have no choice but to....

I have to.....

I can't.....

I won't......

Never again will I......

I'll always.....

I'll start over on Monday or tomorrow or after the holiday or party.

A good quote to say to yourself

The Ego Deceiver is actually my teacher, my messenger that the illusion is present and trying to deceive me.

After realizing this, it can serve to wake me up. To realize my options and my true higher self!

So now let's look at Positive Self Talk substitutes for what the Ego Deceiver has to say in our minds!

Re-write new ways of talking to yourself about eating and your body.  The statements below will get you started, change your thinking as if your life depended on it!

 Take this list with you everywhere for a while and practice using these statements to brainwash yourself out of the deceiving negative self talk!

Practice saying these over and ever through the day- change your mind!

  • I am so fascinating……. Why am I "ok" with making myself feel bad, or not doing what I want to do to change this challenge?
  • I am learning to eat consciously with hunger and stop with fullness.
  • My body will lead me to eat a wide variety of foods, eventually my body will not crave the same foods repeatedly.
  • I am learning that food and weight is not the most important thing to me.
  • I am learning to distinguish between body hunger and mind or emotional  hunger. 
  • I am learning what my "Other Hungers" are and to take care of myself in new ways
  • I am learning to identify what my needs are and make  plans to meet them.
  • I am learning to connect with my body through my hunger and fullness signals.
  • I am working on resolving my struggle with my body and food.

  • I forgive myself, and therefore I am working on not being angry with myself.
  • I remember that every time I ate beyond fullness or without hunger I was being deceived and now I am learning to translate what my mind says that tricks me into doing that.

  • I refuse to punish myself ever again, I don't benefit from punishment.

  • It is okay to have lots of men/women attracted to me. I can say no if I want to.
  • I do not need a problem to get attention, I'm learning to care for myself in other ways.

  • I accept that I can be successful and so I no longer need an explanation for failing.

  • Food is safe for me. I love and enjoy food but I can take it or leave it.

  • Nothing terrible will happen to me no matter what I weigh, starving or dieting won't change the root cause of the issue.

  • I am now eating my way to a healthy body and size, guided by my belly wisdom.

  • I can allow my body to be a healthy weight and let it stay that way.

  • I am learning to eat from hunger, enjoying eating consciously and stopping with fullness..

  • I am working on resolving this problem, forever because I learn from my feelings, needs or beliefs, and take truly good care of myself .
  • I am learning that food is not the most important thing to me, understanding myself more is.

  • I no longer feel helpless about this problem. I trust my inner wisdom and seek rich spirituality, meaning in life and healthy connections with other “kindred spirits”.

  • I am not on a diet. I am learning to feed myself when I am hungry.

  • I am learning to distinguish between body hunger and mind/emotional hunger.

  • I look at my weight history with compassion, I'm learning to take care of my needs in new more accurate ways.
  • I accept myself and my body size, which may change from time to time.

  • I am learning to identify my needs and realizing eating without hunger doesn’t do it.

  • My fat has been a friend and has helped me. I have needed to calm myself with food. More and more I don't have to do that I take care of my self in better ways.

  • I accept my mistakes, faults and setbacks, they are my teacher now. Success is merely failure turned inside out.

  • I learn from those times when I tune out, I'm learning to tune in.

  • I am learning to connect with my body through touching my belly, my breathing, and other body sensations.
  • I am learning to distinguish between stomach hunger and "Other Hunger" feelings.

  • I am learning to identify my Universal Needs and developing creative ways to meet them.

  • More food doesn’t make it better, in fact it ruins the enjoyment of eating a perfect match with hunger of stopping with fullness.

  • There is always more at the store, I will never deprive myself of that food when my belly is hungry for it.
  • My hunger and fullness will guide me as I eat consciously with hunger and stop with fullness.


Write out other truth statements or postive empowering self talk that you think of that help you.  Share with others that you know are doing this work- they may have ones to share with you that have really helped them.

Change who you are & what you experience in life, by changing what you think/believe!

Just like changing the radio station you can change the frequency of your thinking to something that is more empowering!

You can simply choose to change your mind!

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