What is Self Talk?
It can be supportive or negative.
Negative Self Talk can radically change your eating and weight over time!

What is self talk and what does it have to do with weight loss?

The way we think actually does run our behavior most of the time and we are not even aware of the thoughts that are driving our feelings and often our eating.

So becoming the observer of our thinking is critical to be free to behave in ways that build out lives up and not our weight!

Begin by noticing when you feel a lack of peace inside, or a sense of uneasiness.  This is the moment in time when you might think you want to eat so immediately ask yourself ....Am I even hungry?

Keep noticing your sense of uneasiness and ask yourself...

What could I be believing, feeling or needing?

There is a lot of information about this practice on the page in this site called  Responsive or Mindful eating under  the "How to Eat" tab.

This page is about understanding what is self talk and specifically your negative self-talk so it can be transformed as soon as possible.

But first lets look at the common themes in these  negative thoughts that become beliefs.
Most come from what I call the EGO DECEIVER/TRICKSTER (or ED).

The ego is a part of our mind that split off during our development (around the age of 5) and it is immature,  insane, mean and wanting power by creating chaos in your life.

What is self talk that is a problem? Here is a list of examples of how the Ego Deceiver operates in our minds.

30 examples of how the EGO Deceives you (The Ego Deceiver or ED)

1.    The ED always lies and tries to manipulate my thinking to believe “the story” as if it is who I am.

2.    The ED completely distorts reality and has an unlimited number of disguises.

3.    The ED hates and avoids change at all costs, it is driven by fear and desire for power or control.

4.    The ED likes everything to be thought of as black or white—all or nothing.

5.    The ED wants me to think I am worthless and powerless to change my life.

6.    The ED wants me to obey an unreasonable set of rules.

7.    The ED is repetitious, habitual and dull.

8.    The ED wants me to judge other people based on their behavior or appearance.

9.    The ED will use subtle messages or thoughts to enslave me in a behavior or feeling experience that shuts me down.

10. The ED loves to control me and make me feel obligated by using “ should” statements.

11. The ED knows exactly what buttons to push in me to disable me or lead me into old patterns of behavior

12. The ED is malicious, crass, nasty, sneaky, cunning and can be lethal.

13. Everything ED says sounds logical but is logically flawed and at best a half truth.

14. To agree with the ED is surrender to a force that wants to destroy your life and anyone else connected with you.

15. The ED wants me to get caught in an undertow of emotions, seemingly fighting myself around and around in circles.

16. The ED’s best weapons are secrecy and speed, I must expose it and slow it down.

17. The ED is like the wizard of Oz, a tiny old frightened thing trying to get me to believe it is larger than life and quite terrifying.

18. The ED uses illusion to put fear in the hearts and minds of those who are stronger than it is.

19. The ED wants to convince me that it’s cheap tricks are part of the real world.

20. The ED is a coward!  It loves hitting me when I am down.

21. The ED’s only purpose in life is to survive and dominate, it is actually terrified of annihilation, it doesn’t know it can be integrated into me and live as a messenger to me.

22. Most often I am not actively aware of the ED, I am automatically agreeing with it’s illusions.

23. I will anticipate times of stress because this is when the ED will try to regain a foothold as the ruler of my life and thoughts.

24. Guilt or shame is one of the ED’s tricks to keep me dependent upon the unrealistic expectations of other people or myself, the ED likes to “Should” on me.

25. The ED wants me to be resentful so that I will eventually cut off human support and caring that might expose the faulty EM thinking.

26. The ED is my worst enemy and wants me to miserable, that is when it knows it has power, my life force, it is like a leach or an alien suing my life energy to survive.

27. The ED likes to play it safe, the EM is gutless.

28. The ED tries to trick me by insisting that a low probability event has a good chance of happening

29. When I take risks, I challenge the ED, the ED wants me to be immobilized with fear.

30. To the ED, loss of control in running my life is equivalent to annihilation, it does not know that as it integrates into my higher self it can still have a life as my teacher.

Adapted by Mary Sue Abernethy, LMFT.--from the writings of Terence J. Sandbek, Ph.D.

Identify and Capture (write down) what is self talk or your negative self talk so you can first become aware of it and later translate it in to more powerful, positive self talk.

Check-in and ask yourself ......."What does my negative self talk signal or symbolize, how is it serving me?” Who's voice is it? (Mom, Dad, teacher etc).

Capture negative self talk by writing it down, put check marks next to it  to indicate how many times  you think it through the days and weeks- recording the frequency.

Watch for words or phrases that are part of  "the lie" you believe from the ego deceiver such as: 

I should....

I shouldn't....

I ought to.....

I better not....

I must....

I must not…

From now on I'm not going to....

I know it's bad, but I.....

I have no choice but to....

I have to.....

I can't.....

I won't......

Never again will I......

I'll always.....

I'll start over on Monday or tomorrow or after the holiday or party.

The ego can sometimes seem so powerful like a big blow up Godzilla, I like to image of putting a pin in it to pop it, and pop out the  illusion it is trying to create.  All the  stuff it is spinning is not real. 

I also like to tell the ego


When learning what is self talk and discovering the negative self talk it is fun to think of popping it like a big balloon, it is an illusion.

-A good statement to say to yourself -

The Ego Deceiver is actually my teacher, my messenger that the illusion is present and trying to trick me.

After realizing this, it can serve to wake me up. To realize my options and my true higher self!

Be sure to check out the very important page on EFT on this site.  Using that tool is a very powerful way to transform your thinking, research has recently shown it actually re-wires the brain and is long lasting and may be permanent!

What I love about EFT is that is give you a place to take your negative self talk. Instead of trying to change it or ignore it or push it down, you start with what is negative and up for you right now and speak about it while tapping on meridian points on the hands, face and torso.  While thinking and speaking of the negative thought this lights up the area of the brain where neuro-bundles are holding the negative thought or memory. There is a always a statement of acceptance of the negative thought or situation and you are just "telling like it is".

With just a few minutes or a couple of rounds of this tapping and talking about and feeling the negative thing, it begins to transform on its own and you get access to your higher thinking! Whew.......releif and transformationi! BOOM!

Here is an article I like titled "The Toxic Effects of Negative Self Talk"  I hope you will enjoy as well.

Learning what is self talk means increasing your awareness of what you are thinking especially the  negative self talk that will need to be changed.